Mon, 06 26, 2017

Life

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail And how To Succeed In Goal Setting

Three weeks into the New Year and here I am typing up my first post of the year! For some writers, an absolute no-no! Unheard of. Three weeks without writing a single sentence???  Especially at the start of a new year when you should be motivated, inspired, energized, all that good stuff.  No wonder why new year’s resolutions fail!

Hold on – I can explain.


This past May I became an official college graduate (cue celebration music!)

I felt like I had reached an important milestone in my life and I could finally get started living. Although I had many great experiences, I was never truly excited about school. I actually enjoyed work and learning new things and I’d been working from a young age so I just wanted to be in the real world. The “Real World” was like this big scary myth that everyone was worried about but I had experience working in the city so I brushed it off. I was able to get a job a couple weeks out of school through an employment agency. The agency placed me at a luxury swimwear store on Madison Ave and I got hired after my 30 day evaluation.


“Remember that what you see and think about everyday has the power to form in your life..”

This month has taken me through a lot of changes.  I went from crying in frustration about what my next steps would be towards entrepreneurship to launching my own natural hair brand kollectivekoils (learn more about it here). Man oh man,  I would have never imagined one leading to the other, but it did. Frustration can definitely give birth to some beautiful creations. So what does this have to with a vision board Charmaine? Well, all these “dreams” I’ve had for myself this year came out of a vision board I made with my best friend back in September of last year.

I’ve been told two scenarios when it comes to being in a relationship and getting married. One scenario is that dating and marriage aren’t about love but about what you can deal with in another person. The other is that marriage is too hard to just settle because you have to really love someone to be able to put up with his/her flaws.

I haven’t been in a relationship in a while but I do date, and I’ve been told by some people that the reason I’m still single is probably because I’m too picky. Don’t get me wrong I do want a nice guy but if I’m going to commit to a person I want it to be with someone who I really like and who excites me.

 

I made my first vision board in 2002. Not only did I not finish but also I wasn’t really sure what I wanted out of life exactly. I had some very general ideas, so in hindsight, it probably was a proper representation of where I was in my life at the time.  There are things on that were on THAT board that I still want and don’t have and the lack of getting deterred me from creating future boards.


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"Almost impossible to do, reciting the makings of you."

- Curtis Mayfield, "The Makings Of You"
 
Another little cousin of mine found my blog yesterday. And while I was delighted to receive her initial text message, the one about how much she loved my blog, I know it is only a matter of time before I receive the second text. She'll find the dark stuff, the raw stuff, the real stuff.

This past weekend, was sort of a drag.. because I felt sad (hey that rhymed); life was just getting the best of me and I wasn't feeling very confident in where I was or what I was doing at this point. I had a talk with my brother and he always helps me get past these moods, and one thing that he suggested was to make a vision board (pic below).

My career path has taken me from my home city of Philadelphia, to rural Central Pennsylvania, to a small town in South Carolina, to the bustling metropolis of Chicago, IL. I have lived in places where it’s taken me about 5 minutes to get to everything, and other places where I’ve navigated both underground, public transportation and winding highway routes. Each time I have moved, I’ve learned something about myself. Since recently moving to one of my absolute favorite cities for what I know will be a nice, long while, I’m prompted to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned due to those cross-country moves. If you’ve recently moved, or are considering moving, here are a few lessons to look forward to:


I am on my way somewhere. I think I have an idea of the destination but really I'm unsure.

I'm the type that likes to hold onto things. As a nostalgic person, I'm very resistant to throwing things out. I hold on to old letters, redundant email addresses and ancient digital files. Those should be the easy things to trash but they aren't. Then there are the larger items, clothing, shoes, coats and books. You don't even want to know the age of my collection.